Never in a Million Years

Seven years ago, when the doctor told me I would have a baby girl, I had lots of visions of what the future might hold. Many of those have come true. Never in a million years did I envision the following events...

 

A couple of weeks ago, Issa came bounding off the bus, clearly excited about something. All of the first graders had been working on a bug musical (and believe me I know--and am so sick of--all the songs), and they had cast the speaking parts that day. I envisioned my baby girl as a butterfly or a dragonfly:

 

"Mom, mom, I got a speaking part in the play!"

 

"That's great, baby, who are you?!"

 

"I'M THE MAGGOT!!!"

 

"What?"

 

"I'm the maggot! It's the part I really, really wanted."

 

"WHY?" (It was not my finest mommy moment.)

 

"Mom, Granddaddy says there are no unimportant animals, and maggots have a very important job." (Point Granddaddy.) "And...it is the funniest part."

 

She handed me the paper, where her teacher had carefully written that she had requested this part. I now know her teacher was thrilled because she was a bit concerned about making somebody be a maggot and some parents' reactions to their child being cast as a maggot--I get that. She has one line, repeated twice: "I'm a maggot." I failed to see the humor. Then she explained that all of the butterflies and dragonflies are fluttering about, bragging about their beauty, and in the midst she says her lines completely straight-faced. She is awesome at it, and she will bring the house down today when they perform the play.

 

Then I read the rest of the paper: I had to come up with a simple maggot costume. This required me to consult the Google for images of maggots. I don't recommend it.

 

This morning, though, Issa donned her maggot costume proudly and headed to school:

 You can see how hysterical Evan finds this, and how proud Issa is by that little smirk.

Here is a better picture of the fangs:

And so...I made a maggot costume for my baby girl, and I can't wait to watch her make her theatrical debut this afternoon.