Hot Mess

As every home cook knows, some recipes are just destined not to be. I plan our menus for the week, and my dear friend, a Louisiana native's, Red Beans and Rice was to be dinner for Mardis Gras. But...we had hair cuts on Tuesday, and we always get Subway after hair cuts. You can't mess with tradition. So...the Red Beans were postponed until last night.

I must say they tasted delicious, but they are not really my friend's recipe. (Jodie, if you are reading, please stop now. I apologize. I'm sure I have offended every Louisianian with this mess.)

I realized yesterday morning that I was supposed to start the beans the night before. I forgot, so I did the quick soak. I heard somewhere that the quick soak method is better any way. While the beans were boiling, I thought I would start getting everything else in the crockpot. I should have stopped.

The recipe feeds two large armies, so I thought I would cut it in half since I was only feeding my crew. That required five cups of chicken stock, three quarters of an onion, and one and a half bay leaves. I thought I had part of a box of stock in the refrigerator; I didn't. That left me with only four cups of stock, so I decided to add a cup of water the rest of the onion and two bay leaves to make up the missing flavor (because clearly bay and onion are the same as chicken). The recipe also calls for a pound of smoked sausage and a pound of ham hocks. Since they sell smoked sausage by the pound and ham hocks creep me out a little, I only added a pound of sausage. I needed three eighths of a cup of celery and green bell pepper. That was a pathetic amount of celery and pepper, so I added the whole three quarter cup. I also had every color of pepper except green, so I threw them all in instead. The recipe called for fresh thyme, which looked a little sketchy this week. So...I added Cajun seasoning in place of all the spices and herbs (salt, pepper, red pepper, and thyme). Once everything was in the pot, I turned that puppy on and enjoyed the aroma all day--delish!

As if this mess wasn't, well, already a mess, disaster stuck about 5:15. It was time to start the rice. I only had a half a cup. That wasn't going to work. Hmmm. Grits! I had some of the those--exactly a half cup. No dice. Quinoa! I had a Costco bag of that.

Bottom line, we had Red Beans and Quinoa last night for dinner. It couldn't have been less authentic, but it was fabulous, if I do say so myself. Evan had three helpings. I will be making it again...if I can ever duplicate this hot mess.