Day 136: One Bag at a Time

Now that our house is all in order, I am turning my attention to our backyard. It has never really been exactly what we wanted. We love, love, love all of our trees, but they have gotten a little crazy, and we have a lot of random bushes. Bottom line: it's kind of an over-grown mess.

So...I'm tackling it one yard waste bag at a time. Every morning that I don't have an early meeting, I'm going out to fill one bag. It's good for my soul. I can see huge progress every day, and it's not super overwhelming. I'm enjoying the fresh air to start my day, and I start my work day feeling like I'm already moving full steam ahead.

Issa is already thinking about how to extend our deck with a patio and furniture. She is pinning plans for some things she and I might build. We are a long way from that, but it's fun to start playing with ideas. Who knows, by fall we could be enjoying soup in a whole new backyard.

Day 135: That View

I had to go into the office yesterday, and it was the first day I've spent in my new office. I just can't get over that view:

This semester will be like no other, and I never imagined I would be having to decide which stairs are up and which are down, but I also know I am so lucky to work in this place.

I am finishing my grad class this week, and these teachers are utterly amazing. They are working on advanced degrees while preparing for a school year that will be very different than last. I have been so impressed by their work and by the way that they are applying what we are learning to virtual learning.

And on campus, I work with a great team. We are figuring this out together, and no one has thrown up their hands and said it can't be done. We are figuring it out--and then refiguring when things change. We are going to make it.

And just look at that view...

Days 133-134: The Things We Used to Do

Brad and I are trying to shift our language around our house. Issa especially has grown pretty tired of this whole quarantine situation, although we are all pretty much over it.

Monday night, we decided to go get Starbucks after dinner. It took us a couple of tries to find one that was open, but it was a nice treat. Issa was excited for something "normal." That night, Brad had the brilliant idea to term now as normal and pre-March as things we used to do. Random Starbucks runs are things we used to do, and they are a fun treat in our normal life now. Just that little shift changes the perspective for us. 

I also went to the pottery studio yesterday, embracing having the place to myself as normal. It was the first time I had thrown since February, and it took me an hour and a half and so many failed attempts to finally throw this:

You can see the pile of flops behind the wheel. It was initially so frustrating, but in the end if felt so good to have my hands in the clay.

Days 131-132: An Official End of the Dance Year

Yesterday afternoon, we officially put a pin in the 2019-2020 dance year with an outdoor end of year celebration. It felt a little odd to get all dressed up to sit in our cars:

 But we did! We all drove to the studio and parked in every other spot to allow a socially distant celebration:

 Each senior was recognized with the traditional teammate speech and performance of her solo. They each also receive a toolbox, and each teacher places something in the tool box to remind them of the tools they take from the studio with them into life:

We all watched the senior slide show on our phones in our cars, and I cried. It was so powerful to see these girls celebrated even in the midst of this crazy. Our dance family showed up--just like we always do.

They also did the end of year awards, and Issa received her team's Make a Difference Award:

One member of each team is selected as the member who most exemplifies the Company mission. Issa was recognized for her diligence in rehearsals, positivity, and team spirit. We were so proud of our girl!

It was hot, but it was so good to celebrate the end of the year and our seniors, and I'm so grateful for the teachers who worked so hard to make this possible.

Days 129-130: A Silver Lining to Quarantine

I've been taking time this week to try to mentally regroup. I let myself be all in my feelings for a while, but now it is time to start looking for some silver linings.

Work is a hot mess. Hot. Mess. But...I work with really fun, really committed people. We spent the week trying to enroll students in courses in the this crazy hybrid puzzle, and we got it done. It wasn't pretty. We were pulling our hair out, but we also laughed a lot. In my department, we are trying to work with a school district that is suffering from a massive lack of leadership, which makes our jobs harder. But we will get it done. We always do. And when I sent the latest SOS to a colleague about a new requirement that has to be done next week, she jumped all over it, and I know I don't have to worry about it. It will be done well and probably early.

Our new living room is amazing. We have spent cozy evening all comfortably together. There is no way we would have gotten that done if we hadn't all be quarantined at home.

And finally, many of our local restaurants have started offering family meals to go. We have four places that we check often. Every single one has been delicious and more economical than if we had sat in the restaurant. Last night, we had nachos from the Village Diner that have ruined me for all other nachos. We feel good supporting something local, and all we have to do is put the leftovers in the fridge. It's a win-win.

There is so much to be grateful for, and I'm consciously choosing to look for it and the little joys all around.

Day 128: And A New Office, Too

In the midst of our home renovation, my lovely people came to campus with me last Friday to move my office. Campus is closed on Friday afternoons, so it's the perfect time to move. It turned into more of a project than we thought, though, because I liked my old desk better so the boys swapped them. 

But I do like this view better:

 And Issa arranged all of my books and pretty things:

 And my bulletin board:

 Brad moved all of my electronics and got them set up:

 And Evan moved my whiteboard and was the best cart driver there is:

 And now my office is ready to great people:

It still feels very surreal to be in the department head's office, but it does feel like me now. We just wait and see what this fall will hold...

Days 122-127: A New Living Room

Sorry for the absence. We have been really busy around here. This summer, Issa decided her project would be to start to learn interior design. She spent all June learning some software that my interior design colleagues recommended. Last week, we told her that she could take a stab at redoing our living room. We told her the model had to be exactly to scale, and we gave her a budget. We were thinking we might implement her design in August. Tuesday night she brought us her finished designs:

Everything met our exact requirements, and we loved it! She had even gone online to research all of the furniture. The only hitch was to do it within our budget we had to do it now. She had found some great sales, and they were all expiring last Saturday. So...off we went. We ordered the couch online from Macy's Tuesday night, and Wednesday afternoon we went to Home Depot to grab paint samples.

Thursday morning, Issa and I were at Enterprise when they opened to arrive at IKEA when they opened. We were in and out in less than 30 minutes because Issa had meticulously made our shopping list including bin and part numbers:

 That was us after we loaded all of this in the car:

 It was also perfect timing because Friday was bulk pick-up. A lot of our furniture in the living room was completely worn out and just needed to go, so Thursday night we started unloading the room and hauling that to the curb.

Friday, Brad repaired our grout:

 And we completely emptied the room:

 Issa even learned how to spackle:

 Saturday morning, we were back at it with the sanding and wiping everything down:

 We also won cool points by letting the kids draw on the walls before we painted:

 After lunch, we were ready to start painting:

 And by the time we went to bed Saturday even the trim was finished!

Sunday morning, it was finally time to start building:

 While the boys tackled the new buffet, Issa and I tackled the chairs:

 And the ottoman:

 Evan loved the building part:

 Issa even chose new artwork, and she and Brad got it all hung:

 The panorama:

 Issa was too excited that she ran fast enough to get in the picture twice!

And the room:

 The last piece, the couch, was delivered today:

For the first time in years, we can all comfortably sit in the living room again. We are absolutely in love, and Issa is taking the rest of the week off--she earned it!

Day 121: It Just Feels Yucky

So...it was announced that the kids will be going back to school on a hybrid schedule this fall. They will go to school Monday-Thursday every other week and be virtual every Friday and every other week.

The district is offering a fully virtual academy, but it doesn't have all of Issa's classes. Issa is also desperate to actually go to school again. I get that.

As parents, we are not feeling great about either option. The virus hasn't changed--in fact it's worse than when we dismissed in March. Being in person feels scary. Not launching Issa into a strong high school curriculum is also scary.

There are just no good answers. So we are waiting. We don't have to make any final decisions right now, so we aren't. It just doesn't feel good.

Day 120: The Girl is Killing It

So Issa is killing it this week! First, she made dinner last night:

That bbq pork chop was amazing, and the corn casserole was life changing. And...she learned to grill. Her exact words about that were, "There are just so many opportunities for burning!" She is not a fan, but she did really well!

And...she completely redesigned our living room. She learned a new interior design software and measured absolutely everything to build a complete replica of our room. She then worked with our budget to find all new furniture and artwork, and put them in her design at scale. We are only keeping the armoire and one table. She and I are making an IKEA run Thursday, hauling our old scary stuff to the curb for bulk pick-up Friday, painting this weekend, and the new couch arrives Tuesday. We will be in a whole new space in just over a week--and well under budget! I can't wait!

Days 117-119: Getting it Together

I think this picture sums up a lot of our weekend:

Issa got her new planner, and she spent most of Friday adding stickers and writing in plans that we tentatively have scheduled: dance rehearsals, competition weekends, etc. I held my breath as she was writing; I'm sure a lot of those plans will change. But...we can't keep holding still. So...she started planning.

We also spent some time going through closet and deep cleaning. It's not the most exciting, but it does feel nice to have those spaces together.

We are hoping for some news about studio, dojo, and school reopenings this Friday. Until then, we are just moving forward like August is coming!

Day 116: Baking and Snuggling

I was on my laptop again all day yesterday, but Issa spent a big chunk of the day baking. She made meringue for the first time:

 She did an amazing job, and next week she wants to make meringue bowls for fruit. We are here for it.

It seems most of the family spent yesterday on the couch:

Brad has learned how to type around Tumbler, and Neela has learned to just role with Buddy plopping on top of her. It's a lot of snuggling for one couch, but no one seems to mind.

We are looking forward to a quiet weekend, and I'm really hoping to be able to just shut the computer down.

Day 115: The Grief of COVID

Most days, I am totally fine with this new normal that we have settled into. But I'm coming to learn that the grief associated with COVID comes in waves, and I'm in pretty deep right now.

I think the biggest factor is I'm supposed to be in Italy right now. It was supposed to be Issa's first time abroad, and I had a really dynamite crew of grad students all set to run a summer camp for Italian children. A lot of work went into that plan, and now it's on a two year hold. I'm missing my Italian friends and the town I love.

We also made the hard call this week to have Issa do her solo with Ms. Stephanie this year. We  love, love, love Stephanie, and I know Issa will have a dynamite solo and year with her. It will be the first year since her first year, though, that she won't be working with Lauren. Lauren is still not feeling safe coming into the studio this fall, and you just can't choreograph a solo on Zoom. Lauren actually made the recommendation, and she and Issa have plans for weekly connections, but man it stings.

I'm also trying to brace myself for the reality of what school could/should/might look like this fall. I'm feeling a double pinch on this this week. I'm trying to figure out what life will look like for my students in field placements and student teaching. I'm also very much feeling the pull of what Evan and Issa's introduction to middle and high school will be like. Individual districts are starting to try to plan, but the state legislature left a new law in place that makes all those plans moot. Basically, with just over a month until opening we have no freaking idea what is going on. For my type-A self, I'm not loving that.

I'll be fine within a couple of days, but it's just hard right now, and I'm trying to give myself permission to just feel that for a little while.

Day 114: Back at My Studio

Yesterday, I was able to finally return to the pottery studio. We are no longer doing open hours, but we can each sign-up for a time block and use the studio. It was really bizarre at first. The studio has been stripped to the basics, and everything has to be sterilized every time you touch it, which means it smells more like bleach than clay, but it was still good to be back. I had two pieces waiting to glaze:

Once I got used to the new normal, it was so good to be back. It was actually nice to turn on my music and just create for a couple of hours in the woods. I can't wait until I get to go back!

Day 113: So Grateful

I'm so grateful that our children genuinely like each other.

Brad and I are both swamped this week. Work is nuts, and every time I think I might be able to come up for air something new pops. (Thanks, ICE, for the visa cancellations yesterday.) It's just nuts.

I looked up yesterday and realized I had absolutely no idea where the kids were or what they were doing. When I went to investigate, they had built a fort in Evan's room and were eating fruit and playing board games--very happily I might add.

When we are hunkered down and socially distancing, I'm so very grateful that they have each other. They genuinely enjoy each other's company, and they are content to play and do their own thing. Now let's just hope it lasts the summer...

Days 109-112: A Different Kind of Fourth of July

Friday morning, the kids and I started the holiday weekend with a trip to the blueberry patch. It was a different experience picking in our masks and being assigned a row for our family, but we had a great time:

 The blueberries were plentiful:

 Once we got into the row it was shadier and we could take our masks off since there was no one anywhere near us. The kids have become much better pickers:

 In less than an hour we had six quarts among us! It started the week of blueberry everything! Saturday morning, we started with gluten-free boberry biscuits:

 We also made blueberry ice cream and have big plans for many other backed goods. We spent most of Saturday rotating between baking and watching Harry Potter, complete with cat snuggles:

Frosty likes bathing her people, and Issa doesn't mind one bit.

We opted for more a munchy fourth, which included nachos, brats, and pretzels. My poor mixer can barely keep up with us:

 Thankfully Brad was able to get the pin back in and all was well again:

Mom and Shannon came over for dinner and we watched Hamilton! It was so cool to see the original production. One of the lines has really been running through my head this fourth of July and became our sign:

The full lyric: 

Burr: The Constitution's a mess.

Hamilton: So it needs amendments.

Burr: It's full of contradictions.

Hamilton: So is independence.

This year, Independence Day just feels different. Aside from the lack of usual fireworks and parades, our country is in such turmoil. As I'm relearning some of our history that we have kept safely hidden, the country has lost some of her shine. I see more work needed than progress made. But then...I watch the social media feeds of the next generation. Man. They are leading. They are learning and asking hard questions and doing the work. They give me so much hope. We need a lot more amendments. We need to lessen our contradictions. But I also know we can and we will. It's only a matter of time....

Day 108: Back on Campus

Yesterday I officially started as the department head, so I spent the day on campus. While we are slowly opening back up, there are still no students on campus, and we all have to be masked at all times. The office is bizarrely quiet, and it's so odd to stay six feet away from colleagues. 

But...it was good to be back. I had a few meetings and had lunch with a good friend. She spent part of her childhood in India, and she took me to an Indian market. I had sent her a picture of our paneer dinner, and she offered to help me get some authentic ingredients. The kids already claimed those for their meals to cook next week.

We ended our day together by going to visit a retired colleague who is in the end phases of a horrid cancer. It was so good to see her and visit with her family, but it was so hard. She has always been a quiet leader and mentor, and it just seems too soon to say goodbye. I'm grateful for the time, though, and so very grateful to her family for sharing her with us.

Today is a marathon of meetings, but tomorrow is the beginning of a holiday weekend, and I can't wait!

Day 107: Fort Evan

I had back to back calls most of the day yesterday, but as soon as I was off the computer Evan appeared and announced I needed to come see Fort Evan:

Issa has been doing dance intensives on Zoom every morning, which gives Evan a lot of alone time. Yesterday, he used it to build a blanket fort, complete with a nerf gun protection system. What you can't see from this picture is the entire space from his closet to his bed has a blanket roof. He did some reading and football card sorting in there yesterday, and then he and Issa hung out in it for a while in the afternoon. He has asked to leave it up, and we saw no good reason to not allow Fort Evan to hang around.