Most days, I am totally fine with this new normal that we have settled into. But I'm coming to learn that the grief associated with COVID comes in waves, and I'm in pretty deep right now.
I think the biggest factor is I'm supposed to be in Italy right now. It was supposed to be Issa's first time abroad, and I had a really dynamite crew of grad students all set to run a summer camp for Italian children. A lot of work went into that plan, and now it's on a two year hold. I'm missing my Italian friends and the town I love.
We also made the hard call this week to have Issa do her solo with Ms. Stephanie this year. We love, love, love Stephanie, and I know Issa will have a dynamite solo and year with her. It will be the first year since her first year, though, that she won't be working with Lauren. Lauren is still not feeling safe coming into the studio this fall, and you just can't choreograph a solo on Zoom. Lauren actually made the recommendation, and she and Issa have plans for weekly connections, but man it stings.
I'm also trying to brace myself for the reality of what school could/should/might look like this fall. I'm feeling a double pinch on this this week. I'm trying to figure out what life will look like for my students in field placements and student teaching. I'm also very much feeling the pull of what Evan and Issa's introduction to middle and high school will be like. Individual districts are starting to try to plan, but the state legislature left a new law in place that makes all those plans moot. Basically, with just over a month until opening we have no freaking idea what is going on. For my type-A self, I'm not loving that.
I'll be fine within a couple of days, but it's just hard right now, and I'm trying to give myself permission to just feel that for a little while.
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