A Very Busy Weekend

This weekend was a bit of a blur! Friday, we were downtown for Last Fridays, where Issa and her team performed. The location was a last minute call because of some weather, so while the teachers were moving sound equipment the high school team jumped in to lead a stretch:

And rehearse the littles:

I am so impressed by how Monarch has really empowered the older girls to be real leaders, and I love watching them do their thing together:

Saturday, we went to see Hamilton at DPAC:

We were supposed to go in December 2020, and we were so thrilled to finally be able to go! This cast was the best I have seen, and we all loved it! We rushed from there to go to Issa's end of season soiree at the studio! It was a very lovely potluck with superlatives and a killer slide show of the year. It was so wild to watch the studio go from a sign and tap in Stephanie's driveway to a full studio performing for the community.

Sunday, we went into Durham to see the Nasher Art Museum, and these three recreated a part of the film Issa and her team made here last fall:

It was a great museum followed by even better Ethiopian food! We wanted to something new with Aunt Shannon before she flew back to Chicago yesterday, and we will definitely be back!

Yesterday was a weird one in which Brad and I did not work but the kids did. I took Evan to meet the dogs he is dog sitting for a couple weeks this summer, and Issa spent the entire day at her new nannying job! 

This is Issa's last week of school, and Evan is down to the last 8 days! We are going to make it!

 

I'm Tired

 I've been struggling for three days to find words. Another school shooting. Two teachers killed protecting their kiddos. 19 kiddos. 

I've written about this in the past--unfortunately. Every teacher you know has a plan. We know how we will block the door--probably in multiple ways. We know exactly where the site lines are from the door. We have thought about how we will blockade our students. We know our fight or flight point. We know the plans the protocols the codes. We also know we will 100% put ourselves between a bullet and our students. That doesn't mean we aren't scared as hell this week. Jumpy. Having hard conversations with our families.

I've talked my kids through it. Reminding them that their teachers have plans. That I believe they are safe at school. And I've cried every morning after drop off. 

For the first time, I've cried every morning in the parking lot at work. I'm teaching an intro class right now. We've spent the first part of class talking this through. What are school procedures. Why they aren't posted and why schools don't respond to idiots on social media spouting inaccurate information about their plans. We've talked about how they have to be the centered adult in the room, and I've modeled that even though I haven't felt that way at my core. I sent them into schools today knowing they are a little more nervous than usual. I am, too.

I have always been and will always be a teacher. But I'm tired. I'm tired of the load we carry. I'm tired of the blame we take for things that we have no control over. I'm tired of the shouting about us and at us. I'm tired, and I'm not alone.

When you hear people complaining that their kiddo's classroom has a long-term sub because there just aren't any teachers, this is why. It's not because we don't love kids. It's not because we don't love teaching. The $37,000 starting salary is insulting but unfortunately we know what we signed up for. It's this. We have born the burden of picking up the pieces of a pandemic while being told it's our fault the kids are struggling. We have been asked to cram more instruction into kids who have desperate social, emotional, and behavioral needs. We have not been given the resources or staff we need to do the work. And to top it off we just watched two of our colleagues die, and we know it could have been us. And nothing will change. 

If you have read this far, I'm begging you to do something. Thoughts and prayers alone aren't going to fix this. I believe we need tighter gun control laws and better mental health care services. I've written my representatives to ask for both. I would love for you to do the same. If you know and love a teacher, know they are not okay--even if they say they are. Give us a little grace. And for the love of all that is good and holy, don't debate with us right now. Until you have been in that classroom the day after a shooting, until you have been responsible for 30 children who you know have families that love them more than life itself, until you have felt that weight, don't give us your advice or tell us what should happen. You can't know, and we don't have the energy to help you understand right now.

Windshield Views

I had to swing by the pet store on my way home yesterday, and my trip was delayed by these friends:

I have never seen geese move more slowly, but I didn't mind letting them cross.

This however:

I got caught in one of the worst storms I've ever been out in picking up Issa yesterday. The worst hit while I was parked, thankfully, but I did not enjoy watching hail hit my windshield. I'm hoping for a much drier pick-up today!
 

A Weekend of Dance

We had our first Monarch Recital this weekend! Issa and I did the smoothest dress rehearsal ever on Friday night. I always love to watch the polishing and coaching that happens at this point:

My favorite dance was Issa's pointe dance. It is just so fun to watch her:

And she had fun doing the whole show:

The joy was palpable all weekend, and she loved being on stage with her friends. 

We did manage to get some not awful family pictures:

And two of her friends cam to watch her do her thing:

Everyone came back to the house after for dinner, and we had the best time. Issa was flying high, and her friends are so fun!

Yesterday, we girls went to see Giselle:

It's Issa's favorite, and it did not disappoint!
 

We Did It Again

Every few months, Brad gets the bug to move furniture. Over the past few months, he has been turning the garage into his man cave, moving in his books and favorite chair. Creating more meditation and mat space. With summer coming, he decided it would be a good idea to move his whole office out there. We will be home more, and the lack of a door to the front room, which had been his office, often ends in frustration for all involved. Once he moved all of his work things out, we converted the front room back into a reading/music room again:

We moved in a chair:

And hung the Frog and Toad painting from Evan's nursery, which made us all very happy:

We still have a desk if Brad decides he wants to be inside for some reason, but the space is much more open:

And moving the chair made our living room feel bigger:

I have a feeling we will all enjoy the new format this summer!
 

A Weekend of Celebrating

This was a weekend full of celebrating! Class Day was really something special. I got to change the bow to the Victory Bow since the Crook was not found this year:

And deliver all of the gifts:

It really is a special moment. It was so lovely to spend the afternoon with the class I advised, and I was surprised how many of them I really knew. Since I work with them in little groups, I didn't realize just how many of them there were. In the highest compliment college kids can give, the officers kicked in to give me an Olive Garden gift card, which was a total surprise. And this moment:

I won't lie. I cried. I've never been so tired at the end of a year, but I'm so glad I got to help them end their senior year well.

Saturday I was back on campus at 7am to set up for graduation one:

Graduation two got a little rainy, but we made it, and the hooding was a complete success! I was home by 6, where I promptly melted into the couch.

Yesterday was my Mother's Day, and my family spoiled me. I never left the bed room! All three meals--and snacks!--were delivered to bed. They got new cat toys to entice my felines to spend the day with me:

Everyone rotated throughL

Issa and I also watched a stupid amount of Vampire Diaries:

They got be good wine and excellent olive oil. It really was a perfect day and exactly what I needed.
 

Tell Me You're the Senior Class Advisor Without Telling Me You're the Senior Class Advisor

This has been a week, and it will be a weekend! In addition to the usual department of education graduation celebrations, I'm the senior class advisor this year. Two nights this week, I was the last car in the parking lot.

Today is the big day of celebration! We have our student teacher celebration, then baccalaureate, then Class Day. This morning, I dropped off two bags of ivy from our yard for the daisy chain for Class Day, and then I picked up the Crook:

It was quite the statement walking across campus with this thing. I also have 30 wrapped candles in my car for the class leadership.

Tomorrow we have two graduation ceremonies and our graduate hooding ceremony. Tomorrow evening, I collapse.
 

A Great Loss

 A week ago, we lost one of our colleagues to cancer. It's been a wild ride of a year and a half--one where she was originally given six months. Two weeks ago, she was given a month. Last Monday, we got word she was not at all well. Wednesday afternoon, we recorded a message for her. She passed Wednesday evening.

The past week has been a blur of emails and phone calls and arrangements and tears. I don't want to focus on any of that, though.

Liz Droessler was a force. She loved fiercely--the arts, her students, her people. Talking with Liz made you feel like you were the only person on the planet. She gave you her full attention. She was effusive with praise and gentle in critique. If she asked a question she was genuinely curious. She was insightful and passionate and everything you wanted in a friend.

She also loved my kids. This was the first dance competition when she wasn't on the livestream. I cried off and on all day.

I'm still trying to figure out what life looks like without Liz right beside us. I've been trying to find words, but I just can't.

Last Competition

Issa had her last competition of the season last weekend! Friday, she made the very brave decision to pull her solo. She was fighting a migraine and an anemia flare, and she knew if she pushed through she would probably be down the next day for her team dances. While it broke my heart, I am so, so proud of her for choosing team over self, and Saturday was so worth it!

She wasn't 100%, but you would never know it on stage! Sky Full of Song was the strongest it's ever been, and it won a choreography award:

It also took third over all and second in it's category:

I will never get tired of watching these four dance together:

She came off stage pretty shaky, but she rebounded and we got this hysterical picture:

I love watching Stephanie and Brooke pour into their dancers and get them ready to take the stage:

And Sing, Sing, Sing crushed it:

It also got a choreo award:

And it took first in it's category and second over all:

The whole team did absurdly well, and they won the Sportsmanship Award, which is most important to us:

And they had taken time at rehearsal to make Mother's Day gifts that they passed out at the awards ceremony:

It was a phenomenal season, and I'm so glad it ended on such a high note for the team.