Goodbye, sweet girl...

I haven't posted because we have been in the thick of it. The last post was on the 5th, and after I made that post things went south. It has taken me this long to be able to actually write it, but I want to remember...

Last Monday night we had to say goodbye to Neela. Sunday, she woke up and was not quite herself, but we thought it was just a rough arthritis day. She was still super snuggly, and she and Issa had a ton of great time together before she left.

Sunday night, she got sick twice, but we still weren't terribly concerned. Dogs do that.

Monday morning, she would drink water but not really eat. We thought she was just recovering from eating something questionable. She was still super snuggly, but she really spent most of the day just sleeping:

By Monday afternoon, she wouldn't eat or drink, so we took her to urgent care. We had the world's most fabulous vet. They did bloodwork and an x-ray to look for blockages or something that might be causing the stomach upset. Everything showed that the stomach upset was likely a stomach bug, but the x-ray revealed a mass on her spleen. It might explain the fatigue.

Most of these masses are cancerous and brutally quick. Even if it's not, they usually rupture, which is lethal. At ten, she was not a good candidate for surgery.

We took her home with some meds and a hope that we could get her to eat and to hang on until Issa came home from the mountains, but we also knew there was no way we would make her suffer. When we got home, though, she wouldn't take the meds. We called Issa to tell her what was going on and see if she wanted to come home, and she made the wise choice to not. We facetimed so she could say goodbye, and as soon as Neela heard that she just laid down and started to shiver. It was time.

She was so sick, and we just couldn't bear the idea of anything rupturing. We got a few last tail wags and kisses, and we all loved on her and said goodbye, and now we know she and Viv are chasing squirrels together again.

I'm still not fully okay, but each day is better. She was my dog, and I will always love her fiercely. I miss her on my feet and night, and I struggle to sleep without her snoring. But...I wouldn't trade a single day with her, and I'm so grateful we could send her off to a peaceful end.