Today is my fortieth birthday, and I don't think I've ever been more excited for a birthday. My twenties were all about bumbling my way through life; I made a lot of good decisions, but if I'm honest I didn't even realize I was making them. I just went where life sent me; thank God for good mentors. My thirties were about a lot of hustle and trying to figure out who the heck I am. As I closed out that decade, I finally started to own my personality, my passions, and even my grey hair. I have had to do a lot of learning and unlearning, but the work has been worth it.
As I enter my forties, I'm finally secure enough to stand. To use my voice when it's necessary and just be present when my presence is all that is required. So today, it feels fitting to publish where I stand.
I generally stay away from politics in this space because that is not why I started this blog. Every once in a while, though, something happens that compels a response. That is where we are. I also plan to post this on social media, which I never do. I don't believe that forum is a good place to have meaningful conversation, but I also can't allow my silence to be misinterpreted. So...here I stand:
Stand 1: I am a Christian.
I find tremendous comfort in knowing that the God who created the universe looked at it and thought, "It needs a Heather." He created me for a purpose, and it is a true gift that I have found that passion and purpose. I also find great comfort and great conviction that my Savior hung on a cross for me. He knew I would need Him, and he literally poured His grace and love on that cross. The very least I can do is share that grace and love with the world.
Which brings me to the but of this stand: I have real issues with many churches today. I have been uninvited/kicked-out of quite a few now. Every time it's because I questioned a message from the pulpit that excluded a group from the church. I have had male pastors "explain" to me that women aren't meant to teach or question. When I have brought scripture or Biblical history to them, I have been told I just didn't understand and I should trust them. When I challenged the message or the lack of action, I was told I could just go elsewhere. And I have.
I have finally found a home in the Episcopal church, and I've never been more proud of them than I am today, when they condemned the violence and assault on their church in DC yesterday. Our motto is the Way of Love, and our mission is to bring God's love to the world--all of it--through service. I have a female pastor and a male pastor, and they feed my soul and challenge me to grow. Our national leadership has given me great comfort and compelled me to act. It's from that place that everything that follows flows.
Stand 2: Black Lives Matter.
Full stop. Almost twenty years ago now a student asked me what it was like to be white, and I've been doing the work since. I've had to relearn history, and I'm learning we have so very much work to do.
Before anyone says, "All lives matter," not all lives are literally on the line every time they walk out the door. Black lives are. I've listened to my friends tell me about conversations they have to have with their kids that I would never imagine having with mine, but you can be sure we have a conversation about it around our own table that night. I have personally witnessed the way my friends in the Black community have been trying to get something done, and with one phone call I've been able to get it done. I'm not magic; I'm white. The system was built for me. I used to think I had to fight for this community. I was so arrogant. They have been fighting for decades. I just need to fall in and do what I'm told.
Before anyone says, "Blue lives matter," we are well past this argument. This isn't about bad cops (they exist) versus good cops (they exist). This is about a judicial system that is as broken as they come. I'm just really learning about this, but I highly suggest reading The New Jim Crow and then we can talk.
Stand 3: Love is Love--Period
I stand firmly beside, behind, and when necessary in front of the LGBTQ community. Here's the thing: you don't have to like who they marry; they do. I want everyone to have someone who looks at them the way two of my married female friends do. And here's the other thing, I want them to have the same rights I do. I want everyone to be able to have their spouse beside then in the ICU. I want them to be able to have health benefits. It really is that simple.
And before anyone comes at me scripture, that's a long conversation. But let's look at the historical context and the other half of some of those versus.
And before anyone comes at me about the sanctity of marriage, just check yourself and look around. We heterosexuals jacked that one up a few hundred years ago.
Those arguments are flimsy at best. Just stop.
Stand 4: There is no such thing as an illegal person.
I am firm supporter of DACA and a path to legal citizenship.
Before you talk about how they should have come here legally, please know, I would have done the exact same thing if I was them. If my family is in danger, I'm gone. Full stop. When you are literally in cross-hairs you don't have years for the paperwork to clear. You go.
Our people didn't wait for paperwork. They came because America was a place that welcomed them. We have put bizarre, complicated rules in place not for any good reason, and we've been sold a narrative that simply isn't true. Case in point: the highest number of immigrants that have over-stayed their visas are from Canada, but that doesn't make the headlines.
Stand 5: We owe our First Nations better.
Speaking of immigration, we did horrible things to our First Nations when we arrived here and then continue that to this day. I have sat with elders from multiple tribes and listened to their history and their stories. I have watched our nation take a voyeur's approach. I am now watching the Navajo Nation die before our eyes. I'm still learning how to be a better ally in this space, but we have to do better.
Stand 6: I am a feminist.
This is pretty apparent by my first stand, but let me make it perfectly clear that I am a feminist.
I believe toxic masculinity is a danger to our boys and our girls. I will work to undo it for my son and his friends every opportunity I have.
I believe I owe it to every woman who comes after me to pull her along. I have had phenomenal female mentors that have done just that; I have also had women slam doors in my face because I was a mother. Lovely. I have learned to negotiate the good old boys club, and I pass that insight along to the next generation in the vain hope that they won't have to pass it along to the next.
I believe in developing female leadership. I always come back to this: Jesus named Peter the rock of His church, but He first appeared after the Resurrection to the women. We are audacious believers. We jump in with both feet and lead with our hearts and our guts. I used to be afraid of that. I've learned it's our super-power.
Stand 7: It is our scarcity mentality that will be our undoing.
This is what it all boils down to. We seem to think that if we give rights or opportunities or resources to some we won't have enough for ourselves. I haven't seen it work that way. When I assume there are enough leadership opportunities for me and you, we both develop skills and the end result is much stronger. When I share what I have, I still have enough.
It's a running joke in this family, but I am the only person in the history of the world that loses money on garage sales. But when someone shows up looking for things they need because of a house fire, or leaving a bad marriage, or just trying to get on their feet, I'm not selling you my stuff I don't need; take it! And if I know what you need and I have it inside, I'll probably go get it. Here's the deal, no one froze the night I gave away some blankets, but someone else had a blanket when they didn't the night before.
When we work to ensure there is enough for all, there is always enough. I have watched communities that have so very little put me to shame with their generosity. I have been fed at tables where I know food was stretched every day. That is a love I can never repay, but I can certainly pay it forward.
If we would all operate from a place of abundance, we would be in much better shape.
If you have read this far...
Many of you have said Amen a million times as you have read this; others are really uncomfortable. I understand. I'm not sure how we accomplish this dream I have, but I do know I can keep showing up and doing the work. I will keep reading and listening. I will do as I'm told when asked.
Most of the time, though, you don't see me speak out on social media because I never want my voice to take the center. I don't own that space. That said, if you want to talk about these ideas, I would love to talk! Let's set up a phone call or a zoom. We can learn together.
But make no mistake, here I stand.
No comments:
Post a Comment