Little Pieces of my Heart

May is hard when you are a teacher. You spend a year, or in my case four years, investing in young people who then have the nerve to do exactly what you taught them and prepared them to do--leave.

For me, I have layers of this leaving. My actual students on campus left two weeks ago. I've been embedded in two K-12 classrooms this year, though, and those goodbyes are coming. I have a couple more weeks with my second graders, but the middle school schedule has changed.

I have been working with a reading group all year, and I have come to love my little motley group. I thought we would have one more meeting, but the schedule changed. I didn't get to tell them goodbye. So...last night I did the next best thing:

 I loved writing each of them a note. For me, it was a lovely way to put a bow on our year, and I'm hoping they at least hear how proud I am of them if nothing else.

Every May little pieces of my heart go walking into the world, and it hurts. But every August, new parts come walking back in.

So Much Celebrating

May is a month of  celebrating for us!

Issa and I always love celebrating the end of dance season with the Carolina Ballet's season finale. I'm sure they plan it just for us. We originally had tickets for Sunday, but Issa's dance banquet was scheduled for Sunday, so we moved our tickets to Thursday. We left straight from dance pictures, hence Issa's make-up:

 We didn't get home until midnight Thursday night, but it was totally worth it! We had a blast, and she got up Friday like a champ!

Friday, we celebrated surviving last week with a family dinner at Pueblo with chocolate to follow. Sometimes it's the little things in May.

Saturday, Issa had Company auditions for next year, Evan had his friends over for his birthday party, and I had a reunion with the students I took to Italy last year. It sounded totally great when we planned it, but it was a zoo! Issa feels great about auditions, Daddy took the boys to Defy Gravity, and I loved seeing some alum Saturday night. I was home in time to help wrangle everyone to sleep, and everyone had a great day. We have nothing but blurry pictures to show for it, but I guess that's about right for four boys.

Yesterday, we had a double celebration for Issa. She has art work on display in the library:

Hers is the piece on the bottom. We also celebrated the end of the dance season with the Company. Of course I took no pictures.

This weekend we have zero plans, and we are holding on to that space like our lives depended on it!

Meet Trigon and Raven

Brad and Issa have been looking for a "thing." Brad and Evan share the dojo, and Issa wanted something that was just for her and Daddy. Well, they found it. May I introduce Trigon and Raven:

 These particular characters are from Teen Titans Go, and this episode is one in which the evil Trigon is trying to convince his daughter, Raven, that he can be good. They spent weeks planning and making these costumes, and they were pretty pleased with the results:

They even made all the gems and Issa's belt and broach! They wore them to Geekfest, a cosplay craft fair, and they are already planning their next event.

I think they have definitely found their thing.

Happy Mother's Day!

I had a lovely Mother's Day! I just have been swamped teaching a three-week summer intensive, so I haven't made the time to write about it.

Here what we did for Mother's Day: nothing. Just like I asked. I slept until nine, at which point the children brought be breakfast in bed. Evan and I stayed there to watch the most recent Pirates of the Carribean movie, which was hysterical. He even paused it long enough to bring me mac and cheese for lunch.

Mom came over for dinner, and Brad made burgers and fries with a chocate cake and strawberry trifle. It was perfection.

And...the kiddos made me possibly the most thoughtful gift ever:

It may not be readily apparent, but it's Maine. They made Brad and I's cabin and the ocean. How cute is that? I might have cried.

I Want the Same for My Kids

I look forward to Wednesdays these days. Wednesdays are my carpool days, and as soon as I drop the girls at dance I head to Mom's house. We sip wine and chat without interruption until it's time for me to pick Issa back up. It's lovely.

Yesterday, Mom had a staff meeting at school, which means she wouldn't be home until 5. I should have gone home for a bit to do some laundry or sort the mail or do the million other housework things that needed by attention, but I didn't. Instead, I just went to Mom's anyway. I let myself in, made myself a sandwich because I was starving, and flipped through a magazine she had sitting on the counter. It wasn't until I was halfway through the sandwich that I started to giggle.

Even though I never lived in her home now, it's still home for me. I still feel comfortable enough to just walk in and make myself a sandwich. It's still a place to just be. I know it's because of Mom, and I know it will always be that way.

I want the same for my kids. I hope that when they are grown they will still just walk through the door and make a sandwich. I hope home will always be a place the can come and just be. And I hope they will come home often.

All Storybooks Have Troubles

Brad laughs at me all the time--especially around birthdays. I openly admit I tend to go a bit over the top. I look at special days--holidays, birthday, day trips--as a page in the kids' childhood storybooks. I imagine them mentally turning pages someday and remembering how they felt on those days. I can still picture every birthday cake Mom made me, and I still feel that love. I want the same for them.

That means that I tend to want things to go well. Evan's birthday was...not so well. He still says he had a perfect birthday, though, so that's all that matters!

I did take the requested donuts and juice to his class on Monday, and I was pleasantly surprised when Evan turned down being served first and requested to help pass out the treats. We went home early, and he had a lovely afternoon playing his new video game before he and Daddy headed to the dojo. Evan wanted to go because his teachers promised to flip him nine times for his birthday. Does life get any better when you're nine?

They took off for the dojo, and I set to work making the requested pasta salad for dinner.

As it was happily chilling, Brad called. They were stuck in traffic; I needed to go get Issa from dance. No problem. Then from Evan, "If you haven't started dinner yet, I was thinking I would really like to go to Red Robin's for dinner." The pasta salad would keep. We decided to meet there.

I pick Issa up, and she has a headache. I offer to take her home, but she thinks she just needs to eat. The closer we got to dinner, the more miserable she got. Brad walked in the restaurant and she fell apart. The two of them left while Evan and I had his birthday dinner. He announced mid-dinner that he kind of liked it being just the two of us; we don't get a lot of one-on-one time these days.

Poor Issa had a migraine like she hasn't had in a year. She actually got sick on the way home, and when we got home she was sound asleep. She woke up enough to whisper with Evan, who was worried about her. They both felt awful--her for "ruining" his dinner; him because she was so sick.

Issa woke up better yesterday. We had the birthday lava cakes the day after his birthday when we could all enjoy them. He proclaimed it the best three-day birthday celebration ever!

It's funny. I was so worried about his day, but he didn't see it that way. We created some great memories, and I saw the very best in my kiddos and their love for each other. I guess a little trouble makes storybooks that much better.

Happy Birthday, Evan!

My baby boy is nine today! I blinked and my baby turned into this hot mess smiling back at me:

 Ever the pragmatic one, Evan asked if we could actually celebrate his birthday last night because "Mondays are always crazy." I think he really wanted his gifts early, but we were happy to oblige. Nana joined us for his choice of grilled chicken and romaine, and there were some gifts.

He and Issa are a little obsessed with water balloons right now, so she got him a cool water balloon pump:

 And Daddy made him a ninja weapon:

 You can't see the long rope with a tennis ball attached at the end. The idea is to use the rope to tie up up your enemy and then use the scythe to finish the job. I see this ending in pain.

We also had cake:

 Evan was not feeling like pictures, so Daddy cracked him up:

 And I finally bribed him lighting his own candles:

 Make a wish big man:

 Evan may be pragmatic, but I'm sentimental, and I couldn't let the birthday morning go quietly, so I filled the end of his bed with balloons:

 He was amused and puzzled when we woke him up:

 And we had one more birthday gift this morning:

 He has his own vivofit jr., which is a lot like a fitbit:

The running step count may be the end of me!

We will celebrate some more throughout the month, but I sure do love this crazy nine year old of mine!

A Graduation!

The boys had another graduation this week! They are now Blue-Black and Red-Black, which means they are just one belt away from being back to training in the same class, and they can't wait!

We actually managed to make it there in time to see both of them test, and I actually managed to get some pictures. Proof miracles do happen:

 Evan loves testing with Mr. Bryan:

 And they let Dad be the first attacker in his randori:

 I'm not sure which of them was more excited--Dad before he attacked or Evan when he put him down:

 My favorite moment is always after while they watch the more advanced belts test:

 And Evan had to get his graduation picture with Mr. Justin:

The boys are still loving the dojo, and I am almost used to watching them get thrown around.

In the Middle

This sweet girl is solidly in the middle of tweendom, and this picture captures it so well:

Here we are at the ballet with a new hole in her mouth where she lost a tooth that morning. The whole way their and back, she played me songs from her playlist and chatted about school, and then I watched her really study the ballet. She picks up on so much, and I love listening to her thoughts about what she has seen.

I couldn't love this sweet girl and the young woman she is becomming any more.

A Little Older Than the Last Time

Last Friday, Brad and I volunteered to chaperone the Spring Formal on campus:

We honestly had the best time! As we were getting ready, we had lots of fun reminiscing about the last college formal we went to--when we were actually the students.

It was so funny to be on the other side. We were simply ticket takers and wristband appliers. It was fun to see students all dressed up and meet their dates. We enjoyed our own little running commentary about their regretable decisions and wardrobe malfunctions and general youth. We were dragging when the event started at 9; we were very impressed by the energy of those that were just arriving at midnight from their pre-formal celebrations.

The smartest thing we did was just stay at the hotel for the night! Nana graciously kept the kids, and it was far more fun to just wander upstairs at 1am rather than making the hour-long drive home.

I honestly can't wait to chaperone with my forever formal date next year...

"Raise Creative Kids," They Said...

..."It will be fun," they said!

And in so many ways, they are right. The kids are in a particularly creative season. They are crafting and tinkering up a storm. I love hearing their giggles and their problem solving as they are in this creative zone.

But last night. Last night, I cleaned Issa's bathroom. What I will say for my creative children is they totally cleaned their tools and art brushes. However, I swear they murdered a fairy in there. The sink and counter were covered in little watered-down paint dots and glitter remnants. I think there was some oil of some sort. It was...special.

It cleaned up relatively easily, but we did have a meaningful conversation about cleaning up your cleaning up. Bless.

Definitions

Adulthood:

Being super behind on the laundry, getting almost caught up, with all of the hanging clean things hanging nicely on hangers, only to have the new bottle of laundry detergent explode and shoot detergent all over said nicely hanging clean things requiring them to go back in the washer.

Love:

Owning six umbrellas for four people and only being able to locate one on the morning it is pouring rain and then giving said umbrella to the tween girl who has a bit of a walk from drop off to the school.

Stupidity:

Struggling to get into your poncho in the car because you gave the only umbrella to the tween only to remember halfway through that particular debacle that you bought yourself a rain coat last year and could have saved yourself all this trouble.

Another Season in the Books

Issa and I enjoyed the last competition of the season this weekend. It was our first time at Power of Dance, and I think it may be my very favorite competition. Their focus is helping dancers learn that they can use their gift to help their community, so every dance earned a donation for the charity of the studio's choice. The better the dance did, the more money it earned. To date, the competition has donated over $45,000 to various charities this season. I love it!

Before we get in to the weekend, I need to dedicated some space to this right here:

 I will be forever grateful for Mrs. Lauren and her role in Issa's life. She gets our girl, and she knows how and when to push and when to just love. And those smiles. They had a great warm-up, and then Issa brough it on stage. All that we ask is that she gets better every time she competes, and she got expenontially better this weekend:

While we are proud of her score and her over-all, we are most proud of the judge's award. She was given the Light award for her presence, extension, and energy. It is everything she has been working on this season, and it all came together this weekend. Lauren and I were both in tears when she came off stage. I can't wait to see where this dance journey takes us next.

Date Night

All week, Brad has been tormenting me. Life has been crazy lately, so we spent our Friday night date nights side by side with our laptops watching a movie. We keep planning to go out, but it doesn't happen. Last week, I finally broke and said I really needed to actually go out.

Cue Monday when Brad announces we are definitely going out Friday and I need to dress up. And that's it. He wouldn't tell me anything else. Finally this morning, he told me we are going to see a show in Raleigh! I can't wait.

And here's the truth: we don't have time. We have been pulling laundry we need out of the dryer or mound on top. I haven't dusted in two weeks. We both have work work piled to the ceiling. We've juggling end of the semester and consulting schedules. It's ugly. In fact, we are so nuts we are eating dinner at home before we go because it's the only option, but at least we are actually eating a nice dinner together.

And I'm so very glad we are making time.

This is Love

Last week, I needed to sew some patches onto the boys' dojo uniforms. Evan earned his punching patch, and Brad earned his ridiculously large coach patch. As I finished sewing, I couldn't help but smile at this little scene:

I openly admit I'm a sentimental pack rat. Brad jokes our house is where all homeless family relics come to live. But I use them! They make me happy. I can feel the love when I hold them, and I love telling the kids the stories of the items and the people who loved them.

The tin is Gram's sewing kit. I love that when I open it I can still smell her home, and I laugh at the spools with enough thread left to sew the tiniest buttons. She never wasted anything, and I hold onto those spools and smile every time I see them.

The thimble was Bushka's. She is by far the best seamstress I've ever known. I'm sure she would have plenty to say about the way I sewed those patches on, but I feel more competent just using her thimble.

And the purple sewing kit is filled with my own mishmash of things, but the empty kit was a trade with Jodie our first Christmas in NC. We swapped that sewing kit for some Christmas decorations I had that I wasn't in love with. We both thought we got the better end of the deal. Jodie taught me how to make curtains, and she's still one of my favorite people on the planet.

That's a whole lot of love and memories in that picture, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

No More Extra Teeth

Yesterday, Evan finally had all those extra teeth removed. 

I was an utter wreck. I know this kind of oral surgery is super routine, but Evan was cool as a cucumber. In fact, his surgeon declared him the most "chill" patient--adult or child--he has ever had. And Evan was not an easy case. After the surgery, our incredible surgeon told us he came in early that morning to run through the surgery a few more times. He really wanted to get all the teeth out, and he did:

They are arranged there the way they were in his mouth. The two bottom teeth were the baby teeth that wouldn't come out. It was nuts.

Here's what I will forever be grateful for:

1. When they were ready to take Evan back, I had to stay in the waiting room. The same nurse that met us at the consult was there to be his person, and I will be forever grateful for the one moment when our eyes met and I knew she had him. He walked back talking about video games and smiling.

2. Our surgeon was beyond incredible. Not only did he spend extra time rehearsing the surgery, but he answered all of our questions and chatted with Evan in a way that he could understand.

3. The discharge nurse was awesome. She explained everything so well, and she made sure we were all okay before we got in the car.

4. Evan has had no pain! We have kept him on Motrin, but he is eating and drinking normally. He slept all night, and he's frustrated we wouldn't let him go to school today.

5. The surgeon has called to check on him twice! He called last night and again this morning. Evan has 11 stitches; this wasn't a little surgery. I appreciate the follow-up.

We will be enjoying soft foods for another week, but we are feeling so very blessed that all went so well!

Keeping it Real

When I started this blog, I promised to capture the little moments--the real stuff in our home. In that spirit, I wanted to share the photos I sent my sister last week.

This was my zen:

 Those are rose scented candles. Norah Jones was playing in the background. It looks like we have it all together and life couldn't get any better. I stood in the middle of the kitchen to soak it all in. It was lovely, and I needed it because when I turned around I saw this:

I had two extra events on campus last week--both of which required a lot of extraverting, which just makes me so tired. Brad is juggling three major deadlines. Evan goes in for his oral surgery tomorrow. Life is crazy. We cooked all week, but dishes were just not the priority.

That's the reality. I don't even try to keep all the balls in the air any more. I just keep the important ones up, and when I have a minute I pick up those that dropped. Dishes dropped last week. I got it all cleaned up this weekend. It's all good. And when all else fails, I just light the rose candles and put my back to the mess.

Spring Break Staycation

 We had an absolutely marvelous spring break last week. We had high hopes of maybe going somewhere this year, but the stars did not align. Daddy was swamped with work, so we decided to stay home and truly staycation. The kids and I went somewhere fun every day!

Monday, we started at the Greensboro Science Center, and Nana got to tag along:

 Petting sting rays and watching the gibbons eat were by far the highlights. They have recently redone their aquarium, and it was definitely worth the trip! Evan is definitely the creature spotter, and Issa loved reading the interactive signs and telling us all about the creatures he found.

Tuesday, the kids and I headed for the zoo. It was crazy weather! When we arrived in the morning, it was cloudy and foggy, which made the animals in North America very happy and active. By lunch, it had warmed up and we shared a picnic table with a lovely family of teachers before we took in the new bird show! It was amazing to see birds from all of the world do their natural behaviors. I never want to meet an African Condor in the wild. The kids were also feeling goofy:

 Evan is petting the ocelot Issa is becoming.

It was also the seventh anniversary of our first zoo trip, so the kids recreated our first zoo picture:

 Wednesday, we went to the Natural Science Museum in Raleigh where we enjoye a great illusions and mazes exhibit. In addition to the usual optical illusions, they had a host of full body mazes:

 Evan loved playing with the laser maze:

 I was so proud of him. He had it almost finished when a toddler came up and moved two mirros. The parent was mortified, but Evan just shrugged it off.

Issa loved playing with the light box:

 Thursday, we went to our favorite Life and Science Museum in Durham, which of course meant we needed the picture:

 For the first time, the kids spent nearly two hours in the contraptions exhibit just tinkering away:

 They also convinced me to climb to the top of the tree house with them:

The view was great, but climbing back down the nets almost was the end of me! I do not like heights, but the kids were so proud of me. The view from the top was also worth it:

Friday, we went bowling, because it's what you do on spring break:

Please examine the score board: 

I have never bowled like that in my life!

It was a great week, and we are slowly settling back into the school routine. Evan has already started the count down to summer break, though: 41 days!

Aunt Shannon Pulls Through

Aunt Shannon did capture some moments on Easter! This is probably one of the best family photos we have taken in a while:

 And Aunt Shannon clearly wins with the Easter outfits:

Don't you love the egg wearing a hat and monicle?

Here is the other thing I love: no one got a picture of the egg hunt! The kids are much faster and much more competitive. It was kind of a blur. We will cherish the memories, but there will be no evidence.

Hoppy Easter

We have been Eastering and Spring Breaking and generally loving life these days! It will probably take me a few days to get the blog caught up on all of our fun!

On Good Friday, we decorated eggs at Nana's house:

 The big surprise, though, was that Aunt Shannon got to join the fun!!!

 A close up of her one perfect egg:

 She called Tuesday to let us know she was coming, and I might have full-out ugly cried. I kind of like my sister. She has a client in Charlotte, and she took the train up to spent the holiday with us. The funniest thing was surprising the kids Thursday night with a trip to the train station to get her. Nana let it slip Thursday afternoon she was coming for Easter, but the kids didn't realize we were picking her up until we were actually in the train station. It was awesome.

This year, the kids made a whole egg family. Evan started the whole thing when he made General Teal:

 Issa then made him a wife and daughter. Evan made some extra soldiers:

 It was such fun.

Saturday we ate too much food and just generally enjoyed all being together. Sunday, we went to sunrise service, and I would like the record to show that the Bowers were there early! It was a little Easter miracle. Of course, I took zero pictures on Easter. I'm pretty sure Aunt Shannon did, though. Thank goodness for Aunt Shannon!