Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Growing Up is for the Birds

This growing up stuff is no joke. This was one of those mornings where it hits hard: my little girl is getting so big.

Yesterday, the van battery was dead (long saga that ends in a new battery and a AAA hero), so Issa rode to school with Briana. Briana's mom is awesome and offered to walk Issa in because she knew that's what we normally do, but Issa wanted to try Kiss-and-Go with Briana. It's all I heard about last night. It was so easy. She was so big. And I tried to steel my heart for what I knew was coming.

This morning, Issa announced she was too big to be walked in. She wanted to do Kiss-and-Go. I knew it was coming, but it was still a dagger, especially when it was followed by, "I don't need you to walk me in anymore." There wasn't an edge to her voice; it was a simple statement of happy fact. And my heart broke. I was so happy for her, but that cord just keeps getting longer and longer as she flies a little further.

I bit my lip as we walked to the car, watching my big kid, backpack in one hand and Baboo in the other, bounce to the car. I bit a little harder as we pulled up in front of the school and she plopped Baboo on the front seat, pecked me on the cheek, and bounced out of the van. She was so proud...and so very grown up. I was so proud of that little bundle of confidence, but my mama's heart marked it as one more measure of big girl and one less of baby.

I came home, clung to that raggedy old bear, and cried in the driveway. Briana's mom pulled in about the same time, and she cried with me because she knew. She had already made this walk. In that moment, I was so very glad for another mama, part of my little village, because this growing up stuff is not getting any easier. Thank goodness we're in it together.

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