I will admit it: I am a bit of a control freak. I like things to be organized and planned and structured. I'm working on it. I'm trying to learn to let go. I'm not very good at it. Hence, homemade granola bars:
When Issa starts her new school, we will need to pack a morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack on the two days a week she will stay after school. Aside from the one major melt down, Issa is thrilled about her new school, and all this packing is part of the thrill. Since she has latched onto this, so have I. Her school is a nut-free zone, so we've been thinking about all kinds of nut-free options for my girl who doesn't like soft bread (so no sandwiches for us).
She loves granola bars, so we learned to make these this weekend. I introduced dried edamame this weekend, and she loves that, too--great snack. I made split pea hummus (I know it sounds strange but it's awesome!) last night for dinner, and that will certainly be an option often. She also loves regular hummus and fruit roll-ups, and those recipes are next up to try. I know there are also a million more "normal" options we will pack as well, but it's been fun trying all these new recipes and options.
As much as I would love to say I'm doing all of this for fun, I think it's more to settle my own nerves. I love her new school. The staff is incredible, and I know Issa will learn so much. That being said, it's new, and there is so much I can't do for her or know for certain. I can't make her new friends. I can't ensure she won't miss her old friends. I won't be able to look at the clock and know exactly what she's doing. I have to pray she doesn't get hurt on the much bigger playground (that is totally safe she just takes after her mother--slightly accident prone). What she eats, though, that I can control. I can make sure that is exciting and happy every day, and I'm grasping that with everything I have right now. Even as I'm writing, with the tears streaming, I'm trying to figure out where the years have gone. I am so excited for her, but it feels like I just left her at her old school for the first time, my tiny baby girl.
Time just goes too fast. That's part of the reason I started this blog. It provides me the opportunity to hold on to the daily, little moments. It has forced me to be more present, more grateful, and more aware. Since I can hold on here, I can let go in the real world. I can capture the memories here and then be ready to watch them grow and experience the new adventures.
And that, that is a gift.